A bad day.

Yesterday was not such a good day. No day is at the moment, that's the way it is. But, I'm trying to change my whole life and it's bound to be difficult.

I woke very early, astoundingly early for me. Even so, the streets at 6.30 were starting to fill with traffic as I drove my girlfriend to the station for a day working away.

I promised to make my way through the list of things to do as I dropped her off. In reality, I slunk back to bed, and stayed there till 1pm.

Trying to start my drinking later in the day has been successful so far and yesterday's absence of my partner was dangerous. My worst excesses are committed when she goes away to work, as she does quite often, and as she wasn't due home till 8pm I had plenty of freedom.

To my surprise I didn't cave in as badly as I have in the past. I made it to the library, bought some food for my evening meal and arrived in the pub at the dot of 4.30. I stayed there longer than I usually do and had four rather than three pints, but my total intake for the day was still seven.

I cried in the pub. The catalyst was an article in The Times about a British diplomat who helped Jews escape from the Nazis - that was the catalyst, I suspect the real reason was personal self-pity.

Oh well. I made it through. Only one meal though, which is disappointing; no exercise, which is also disappointing.

Still, I'm still alive, nothing disastrous happened and today is another day - a cold, grey and drizzly one - but it dawned nonetheless.